A Wifey Momma

It's been a long time that I have been keeping this pain. And each day, the pain is getting deep that I feel like carrying a heavy burden. At some point in my life, I asked God, what's missing? What has to be done? Until I finally realized that I need peace. Peace within me...

Yes, months had passed and all those times I was hurt, so much hurt. I never expected this to happen because all I want is to make friends, a lot of them. But life has full of twist and turns, trying to test everything in us, even if it involves people. December, January, February, March, April, and now May has come. More than 5 months of keeping it here...right here deeply buried in my heart. I wanna make revenge when I was terribly hurt, but I didn't. I remained silent because I don't wanna involve people. I kept it to myself. But then again, the thrill of testing everything in me and so with them was triggered. Yea, I must admit that I wasn't able to control my temper; I blew fire, so hot that I hurt some people too just the way they hurt me.

But when will this end? That was bothering me even months ago. I was just ignoring the thought and mind my own. But God seems to tickle my sanity, letting me do something which I knew would be hard on my part. So here I am, wondering if I am on the right track. And knowing that it's our Almighty God who guides me all throughout these endeavors, I'm certain that I'm doing myself not just a favor, but helping myself to get closer to HIM once again. He is once my bestfriend, and I am missing him so much. And I want HIM to restore my heart as HIS own sacred place.

Somehow, I am enlightened and realized that getting through bumps and grinds in any relationship, no matter how perfect it is, is just but a spice of life. In fact, even the closest of friends have their trying times too. We are just human, and that clearly speaks as to why all these happen. All we need in times like this is FORGIVENESS. Otherwise, PRIDE will take over. And if we'll just let it that way, it can surely build a small spat which can lead to something that no one would wish for-the end of friendship.


Before, my own stubborn pride is causing a deadlock to the issue. I want her, I want them to say "I'm sorry" first before I forgive them because I can certainly grant them the forgiveness. But whether they are the ones to reach out to me or I am the one to reach out to them, I guess, there's nothing wrong about it. As a matter of fact, there are no rules or shall we call a protocol on who should go first. And God is whispering in my heart, "Just do it!" And I just did. I am happy now that a part of my heart is free from pain. I know it'll take me time to clear all the pain that I've been keeping inside not just for these people I have just forgiven, but there are still some people whom I already forgiven but they aren't just aware of it.

I am just telling myself that I need to take one step at a time. God is with me all the time and I am sure of that. He comforts me when I am all alone and sad. He lifts me up when I am down. He forgives me when I've done something wrong, whether to myself, my family, my love-ones, my friends and others whom I do not intend to hurt, or unconsciously, I have hurt.

How we wish we could come with him, stroll around the malls in Metro Manila, especially the newest tourist spot, Manila Ocean Park. But because of our tight budget, we just have to wait for his next trip to Manila. Hayyzzz! I miss Manila, the huge malls, the heavy traffic, gigantic buildings especially the sweat-free elevators, the busy street vendors, and the like.

Soon, I'll be coming home, Manila, Manila...hahaha! napakanta na, lolz! Anyway, I hope and pray that hubby may have a safe trip to and fro Manila. While Bendyk and I are left here but tonight and the following night, hubby's cousin will be staying here with us.

I was surprised to know that a fellow blogger visited this blog and had chosen me to do this tag. I don't know him personally, but I appreciate it that despite the simplicity (ows?!) and flaws of this blog, I managed to attract readers and even allow them to leave some of their thoughts here. Thanks to you Marky for tagging me as well as putting my links in your blogroll.(wink!)

Rules:
1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2. Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3. Pick your month of birth.
4. Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5. Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.
6. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!

Before I'll post the months and traits, here's the person that I'm tagging.

1. Dhen
2. Diane
3. Halley
4. Yigae
5. Owenn
6. Lala
7. Ate Precy
8. Hubby
9. Yhen
10.Twinx
11.Mayan
12.Sharmaine

The Months and Traits

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others.Revengeful - Mmm,Nah! Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners.Nah! Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody. Korak!!! Most of these traits are true for me .

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Takes high pride in oneself. Too generous and egoistic. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Oh man! What's going on here?! Alright let's just forget all the troubles of life these days. The important thing is, I am settling everything one step at a time. So there, I went to Smart Wireless Centre although it was raining, paid for the relocation fee, and woooaaahh! I just hate it when I get too excited, and upon learning that I had to wait for 3 days to 1 week for them to set everything up...What are you talking about miss?! I dragged myself in that wireless center amidst the rain and you were telling me that I had to wait that long?! Pa*sy*t!

Well, God still loves me. Kuya, the tech support of Smart Wireless Centre who came over here early in the morning got back to help me out of this trouble. I hate waiting for days just to restore my broadband connection. So at last! I finally have with me my techie-buddy's internet! Yipee! Need to cuddle my pillow now. I badly needed a nap 'cause my head is aching and in just a while I think I'll be suffering from colds and flu. Sniff! Sniff! Blame it to the rain! Sigh!

Today, May 8, 2008 is my hubby's birthday! Yipee! He's now 24 years old. Tumatanda ka na hubby nyahaha! So what's for today? Well, I was actually planing days before his birthday that we'll be having a simple pool party. It was actually a surprise gift from me. But since I've already talked to his cousins about the plan, they forgot to zip their mouth when hubby came home, arrrggghhh! I knew it from the start that he won't like it. He hate spending too much for himself, even if it's for his birthday. Sigh!

Anyway, I just gave him a new Puma sneakers as my gift. I hate his fave Chuck Taylor sneakers. Well, he likes my gift so no need to argue, lolz!

So today, we'll just go out for a date (kiligar hahaha!) We decided to watch a movie at the theater, a 'lil shopping and dine out. I'll also buy him a cake so he can make a wish and blow his candle...Yey! And oh, a cake would be a good "pulutan" for tonight. Yes! We're going to celebrate here (yes, right here)...2 pairs of beer bottles will do, a lampshade on and with background music. Oh how romantic! I know he'll love it...

So before I changed my mind, I called Bendyk to change his clothes and it was my turn after I put his "paraphernalias". In 30 minutes, we reached Mama's house (hubby's granny) to pay her a visit and at the same time asked hubby's 15-year old cousin if she wants to come with us. You see, I can't handle my little prince alone. He's too heavy for my skinny body to carry him the whole afternoon. It's just a good thing that Sweetie excitedly come with us. She's been spending her summer school-break at home so she is also getting bored.

Well, the truth is, we planned to watch for the most awaited heart-throb Sam Milby. We heard that he's coming at 6:00 p.m. this afternoon. And since we still had so much time to stroll around, we let Bendyk played his fave game, basketball and also had his rides. But it seems that he won't take a "no" for an answer when he insisted to ride in that push-car. Oh my, he's getting hard-headed lately. As what most people say, "like mother, like son" seems to be true, lolz!


I had an eye on that colorful cotton candies near the WOF so I went there and bought two cones, pink and blue. I just dunno why it says in their jar that the pink one is a bubble gum flavor. Hmmm...it didn't taste like one. Well, maybe it was just a part of their marketing strategy.

We also went to the Castle Playhouse but we didn't let Bendyk come inside. He's below the 3-year old bracket and according to their rule, the kid must be accompanied by guardians only if both are wearing socks. Well, I don't wear sneakers nowadays so it'll really be impossible for me to wear one. I know Bendyk wants to play inside the Castle but I told him to wait until he turned 3 this coming November.

After an hour, I asked Bendyk if it would be okay for him if we return the push-car since one hour had already lapsed. He agreed but on one condition, we have to eat at Jabee. Whew!


Afterwards, we went upstairs to buy a flash drive. I got the 2 GB so I can store a lot of my files, particularly pictures and digiscrapped images.


And then we headed to Landco Plaza where Sam had sung 3 songs. He is really good in singing and mind you, he looks so charming and sweet. He's not so maarte like the other celebrities who would hesitate to shake hands and even dare not to go down the stage near the audience. He's really a nice guy aside from the handsome face and body he has. I was actually taking photos and videos of him using my phone, but sad to say the light coming from the stage was really irritating. I don't see Sam on the photos taken. I could have just brought my digicam only if I knew that I am going to see Sam in person.

Sam Milby left at 8:00 p.m. so we just waited for hubby at Mama's house. And after an hour we went home and forgot that I've not yet taken my dinner. Maybe I was overwhelmed of Sam hahaha! Hubby had taken his dinner in Naga City so he thought that we already had eaten at the mall before we went home. It's late at night so stores are already closed. It was just a good thing that I bought earlier 3 Chuckies, Chiz Curls and of course, my fave Snickers. Yea, you got it right. These serve as my dinner for tonight except for 1 chuckie which Bendyk took away from my 'office desk' huhuhu!

It's the 15th of April, the effectivity date of my resignation from my previous work. Yea, I decided to leave my job and in the meantime would try my best to be a "wifey momma". It's so strange that for over 2 years of becoming a mom, I never been an ideal mom to my kiddo and a good wife to my hubby. I'm not so sure of this, but I guess it's quite true.

Anyhoo, I started the day cleaning the house, rearranging stuffs from one corner to another and so far it feels good to touch them once again. You see, I've always been a frustrated interior designer so expect everything inside the house to be rearranged once a week or at least twice a month. It makes me feel oh so damn goood!

Done with the general cleaning and assisted my prince bendyk in his milky bubble bath. My prince looks fresh again so I turned on the TV so he could watch his anticipated fave show, wowowee. While the wifey momma went to the kitchen to cook for our lunch. Hubby is at work so no one would cook for Bendyk and me. (sigh!) I found fresh longaniza and was confused on how to cook it the right way. I forgot to ask hubby about it before he left.

Well, I imagined how it looks like when cooked so I figured out the procedures. I washed the longaniza first before putting them on the pan. And then I half-filled the pan with water, and put it in the stove, covered them and waited for a few minutes until the water boiled. I picked every piece of longanizas and sliced each into thin pieces. After that, I put a little cooking oil in an empty pan, put the longanizas on it, sprinkled a pint of sugar to caramelize and put them on the stove. I tossed and turned them on the pan so they won't get burned.

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